I remember the season vividly. The laundry was piling up, my toddler was refusing naps, and we were stuck eating the same three meals over and over again. I was drowning in the overwhelming pressure of motherhood, battling postpartum anxiety, and feeling triggered by the constant mess and toddler conflict. The endless to-do list felt impossible to tackle, and my mind raced with all the things I wasn’t getting done.
Slowing down? Unhurrying my motherhood? It sounded beautiful, but felt impossible. And yet, deep in my soul, I knew something had to change. I longed for peace in the everyday moments, for a rhythm that allowed me to catch my breath.
It didn’t happen all at once. Learning to create rhythms that support slow living was hard. It took time. But slowly, I began to make space for rest and a gentle pace in my day-to-day life...
Read more...
I remember the feeling of utter exhaustion in the early years of parenting. My brain, body, and spirit were perpetually tired - deep in my bones tired. I suppose, since every body and every story is different, some parents coast through sleepless nights without much difficulty, but if you’re reading this, I'll venture a guess that you may be navigating the foggy world of sleep deprivation that’s so common when parenting babies and toddlers (and sometimes even older kids). Sleep deprivation is one of the toughest parts of early parenting, and it’s easy to feel like you’re just trying to make it through the day on autopilot. But take heart—there are ways to support yourself and get through this challenging phase with a bit more energy and optimism. Let’s dive into some strategies that can help you thrive even when your nights are less than restful.
Read more...
Having support as a parent is so valuable–whether that’s from involved grandparents, daycare and school settings, reliable babysitters, and of course, co-parents. But there is just something so special and encouraging about walking through the parenting journey with other parents who are on the same path at the same time. Bouncing ideas off each other, receiving solidarity in tough moments, and sometimes even physical support during tough seasons like postpartum or during a health crisis.
Sometimes, parents may have friends or siblings who have kids the same age, but their parenting approaches might be different. This can be challenging, and make it even more meaningful when you find families who you align well with.
Read more...
If you’re new to Peacemaker Parenting, you might be surprised by a ripple effect of change it can lead to in your relationships, not just with kids, but with other adults…and even with yourself.
Peacemaker Parenting offers a profound opportunity for parents to delve into their own childhood experiences, unraveling layers of conditioning, and understanding how these experiences shape our parenting instincts. When you shift your perspective of parenting to a trust-based relationship with your child, rather than something you do to your child, you'll have the opportunity to reflect on your own upbringing with a compassionate lens.
Read more...
guest contributor: Natasha Metzler | www.natashametzler.com
A while back our family had some things come to light, where one child had lied so convincingly about the other that we, as parents, believed the wrong child. It was a serious issue, that had huge repercussions in all of our lives.
When the truth came out, I was devastated. Horrified. Angry at myself (the most) for not knowing, and angry with God that He hadn't done SOMETHING to show us the truth earlier. Because I had believed a lie, I perpetrated a lie, and maybe worst of all, I failed to protect one of my children from harm, when I would literally have done anything to keep them safe.
I was a mess. Not sleeping. Barely eating. I felt so stupid. Once I knew the truth, I could look back and see a million little moments when the truth had been *right there* and I had missed it.
"You should have known," was the constant refrain in my head.
Thankfully, I have some close friends who knew what was happening and surrounded me and helped me. I met with a therapist & one thing she told me over and over was, "You can't know what you don't know."
The shame I felt for not knowing, wasn't mine to carry. It was not my fault I didn't know. That didn't mean that I didn't have responsibility! I had to apologize, I had to humble myself as we worked to right wrongs. I needed to learn from our experiences. And at the same time, I could also walk in freedom from shame and condemnation.
Scripture tells us in Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. This means we are FREE from the lie that we need to get everything right to be acceptable, or even to be successful!
In raising our kids, we're going to get things wrong. Maybe those things will have mild consequences on one child and life-altering ones on the next. We're human beings with complex nervous systems and outrageously complex brains. How things affect each person is impossible to predict or completely prevent.
If we believe that we are solely responsible to know everything and prevent everything, we're going to fail because that's impossible. Nobody can know everything.
So what can we do? Well, to be blunt, when we know better, we do better. We shift. We change. We stay humble and teachable.
And as we change, we show grace to others. Because people can't know what they don't know. (And just throwing information at someone won't fix that, hearing isn't the same as knowing.)
We can't fix these things for anyone else, but we CAN live out changes and make it easier for others to learn and grow without shame.
It's all a process though. It takes time and because life doesn't pause for us to figure stuff out, it's easy to get wrapped up in condemning ourselves or others. But what if, instead, we offered up hope?
This is the truth about Jesus that fills me when I'm devastated by my choices and others' choices. What following Jesus offers, is the knowledge that there is hope in every situation. Nothing is beyond being redeemed.
I can sit in condemnation because my parenting decisions opened the door for harm, or I can grieve and release those choices, trusting that God WILL step in and fill all the places where I fail. Then I'll do my best to follow His lead, repenting and seeking reparations where needed.
We are limited in our humanness, unable to know what we don't know. But we are also deeply capable, made in the image of a holy God, and when we know better, we can do better.
