To the mama who feels alone in her parenting choices,

I see you. I’ve been you. 

It feels like you’re hiding in a closet somewhere because you grew up in a pro-spanking or pro-punishment culture but you’ve decided to raise your child with grace and respect instead. 

The people around you think you’re nuts for choosing to parent as a peacemaker instead of a firm disciplinarian. 

You know the truth! You’ve experienced for yourself the character of your good father, God. You know the contrast of grace vs. the law. You’ve even seen how modern neuro-science backs it up. Of course it does–it is all a part of God’s design. These kids are his image bearers, after all. 

But you still feel alone. And on the hard days you ask yourself, “is this really the right thing?” They say “Motherhood–it takes a village.” But where is my village?!  You wonder.

Many days you feel ill-equipped. It feels like your children are a little, or a lot rowdier than their peers, and even though you're convicted and convinced that spanking and fear tactics are wrong, you wonder what on all earth are you supposed to do instead.

You’ve been trying to navigate conflict after conflict. Some days it seems like all day. You are doing your best but some days it just feels like it is too hard. I see you sitting on the floor in the kitchen out of the kids’ view. Grabbing a handful of chocolate chips and crying a little. You look down and see you are wearing the same sweatshirt you put on a couple of days ago. Your face still has leftover makeup on it because you keep trying to make yourself feel put together but at the end of the day you’re too tired to wash it off. 

I want you to know that I see another side of you, too.

I see the mom who can walk into sibling disputes, bedtime battles, toddler tantrums, and tween angst and bring in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. You choose to love and not cause fear. You choose to help and not to hurt. You choose to demonstrate humility and not pride. Because of that, your children trust you. They learn from you. They look up to you. And even when it feels like it isn’t true, I promise you, they love you for it. 

It is this tenacious side of you that makes you a great mom. Maybe you haven’t read all of the parenting books. (When would you have time, right?!) Maybe you’re the only one in your circle who believes this grace-based parenting is actually going to pay off. It could be that most days are still hard days and you find that you are working even more on yourself than on the kids…

But let me tell you something: You are not alone in this. We want to be your village. We want to invite you to the beautiful community we're building in The Mentorship. It's a space where you can connect with others who have chosen to parent with grace and peace, and it is filled with encouragement and support for your family. 



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